I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
