Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
