That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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