Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
