dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
i out mim tonsoeep
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
