What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Bring me that man meat
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Pants are for mortals
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
