She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
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