I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
