We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
We got so high we made milksteak
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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