just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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