So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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