Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
