So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
