I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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