it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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