My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
