i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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