We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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