I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
