If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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