k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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