Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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