hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
