ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Randomize
