so explain again why im purple
no
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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