I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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