I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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