the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
