Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
