just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I just saw a hot homeless man
I want to make a zoo with you.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
