Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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