He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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