And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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