16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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