I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Just cropdusted the office
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize