so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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