My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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