Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I CAN MOONWALK!
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
