she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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