It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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