She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
