I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
