My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
