I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize