Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize