$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
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