Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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