Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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