What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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