Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
