Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
