one two three fourrrrnication!
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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