What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
