I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You're like the curious george of whores
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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