Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
