Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
