apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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