end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
love makes seman taste better
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
