Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
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