i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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