i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
