It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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