I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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