i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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