you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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