So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
